Dear Alan, my beloved.
I wanted to tell you I loved uou deeply and I still do and utnill now you've been the best thing that ever happened in my life ever.
I mourn deeply your love and care. My life has been very interesting but unhappy since I've left you.
I've been vert much distressed by your awfull death but I've kept it to myself till today and I'm still crying about it 23 years later. I've never stopped grieving an I think I've been heavily punished since you passed away.
It had nothing to do with me your ashes were sent back to England, neighbourgs just didn't tell me you were dead and I couldn't attend the ceremony.
I still love you deeply and I've never met anyone like you eversince. I keep telling lies to people pretending nothing happened but I'm all sad inside and my new boyfriends keep dying one after the other.
I've kept your letters and some cassettes but there is nothing I'd like more than to have a good read with you and walk by the stream holding hands and you would carry me through the bank and later on we would go for a bagminton game while the sheep would walk back to the sheephold.
I've been sick over and over again throughout all those years, I feel very much distressed, nobody knew how to help me the way you did it and I miss a good laugh and you hugging me.
I promiss you I'm going to go back to where you wanted to be buried and make a ceremony for you, and have a good cry.
Please help and forgive me and pray for The Queen as well. I miss you and everything went wrong with Sarah.
Rest In peace
Your little white rabbit